justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 
Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.
On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.
The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”
And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:
[stifled giggling]
[reeeeeeally deep breath]
[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]
The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.
In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”
FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 
Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

justamerplwithabox:

vivelafat:

prokopetz:

officialdeadparrot:

grellholmes:

elsajeni:

gunslingerannie:

justtkeepcalmm:

dean-and-his-pie:

fororchestra:

musicalmelody:

Fun Story: My director kept telling me and my tenor sax buddy to play softer. No matter what we did, it wasn’t soft enough for him. So getting frustrated, I told my buddy “Dont play this time. Just fake it” 

Our Band Director then informed us we sounded perfect. 

To my readers: “p” means quiet, “pp” means really quiet. I’ve never seen “pppp” before haha.

On the contrast, “f” means loud, and “ffff” probably means so loud you go unconscious.

I had ffff in a piece once and my conductor told me to play as loudly as physically possible without falling off my chair…

Me and my trombone buddies had “ffff” and he sat next to me and played so hard that he fell out of his chair.

The lengths we go for music.

Okay yeah so I play the bass clarinet and the amount of air you have to move and the stiffness of the reed means it only has two settings and that is loud and louder, with an optional LOUDEST that includes a 50% probability of HORRIBLE CROAKING NOISE which is the bass equivalent of the ubiquitous clarinet shriek.

One day, when I was in concert band in high school, we got a new piece handed out for the first time, and there was a strange little commotion back in the tuba section — whispering, and pointing at something in the music, and swatting at each other’s hands all shhh don’t call attention to it. And although they did attract the attention of basically everyone else in the band, they managed to avoid being noticed by the band director, who gave us a few minutes to look over our parts and then said, “All right, let’s run through it up to section A.”

And here we are, cheerfully playing along, sounding reasonably competent — but everyone, when they have the attention to spare, is keeping an eye on the tuba players. They don’t come in for the first eight measures or so, and then when they do come in, what we see is:

[stifled giggling]

[reeeeeeally deep breath]

[COLOSSAL FOGHORN NOISE]

The entire band stops dead, in the cacophonous kind of way that a band stops when it hasn’t actually been cued to stop. The band director doesn’t even say anything, just looks straight back at the tubas and makes a helpless sort of why gesture.

In unison, the tuba players defend themselves: “THERE WERE FOUR F’S.”

FFFF is not really a rational dynamic marking for any instrument, but for the love of all that is holy why would you put it in a tuba part.

This is the best band post 

Everyone else go home

Oh man, so I play trombone, and we got this piece called Florentiner Marsch by Julius Fucik, and we saw this

image

which is 8 fortes. We were shocked until,

image

that is 24 fortes who the fuck does that

Who does that?

This guy. Take a good look - that is the moustache of a man with nothing to lose.

Julius IdontgivaFucik

More like Julius Fuckit

(Source: housecatincarnate, via alltheirons)

picklespickleyama:

bronzebasilisk:

fan-troll:

lord-kitschener:

jimblespage:

jolys:

caterjunes:

spiffymuffin:

yunghau5:

3dboyfriends:

smashbrethren:

prostheticknowledge:

Dildo Generator

Online 3D experiment by Ikaros Kappler which is described as a “Extrusion/Revolution Generator” ….

Created with three.js, you can alter the bezier curves and angle of the form, and is designed with 3D printing in mind (models can be exported and saved, as well as calculated weight in silicone).

Try it out for yourself (if you wish) here

the time is now

hell yeah

image

ah yes, the ol rolling pin dilda

image

image

it’s called the purple ramjet

which end do you start with? the answer is yours to decide

shove a vase up your ass

not even jesus could save yall motherfuckers’ souls

image
i call it the matterhorn

cackling just continues to get louder as I scroll through

i think this is the first time an internet community has discovered something customizable and adamantly refused to make penises

HOW DOES ONE EVEN DILDO!?

(via sp00kypeaches)

ART HELP:

jumperben-holybatch:

spaceycrazylady:

corporalbutts:

Cutting to the chase I am doing a project for my art class that requires me to do a piece that is 60ftx1ft long.

60 feet is a HUGE size.

Long story short, I need your URLs, and if you reblog/like this post I will write your URL down on my piece.

I NEED 60 FEET OF URLS AND I HAVE SMALL HANDWRITING. PLEASE REBLOG FOR ONE REASON, AND ONE REASON ONLY:

image

this is actually the best reason ever

The game is on

News Report: Challenge accepted.

(via no-stop-just-no)

proudlyinsane:

magnificenthoofbeasts:

angryvriska:

cyberacat:

youtastedalektable:


she had a tough time getting out of the block pit

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.

YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS
OKAY
I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN

WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Is it bad that I actually want to go into one of these just to see how it feels?

ALRIGHT LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT THE BLOCK PITS
THERE IS A ROPE THAT YOU SWING OFF TO DIVE INTO THIS THING BUT FUCK THE ROPE BECAUSE THAT SHIT ONLY DUMPS YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PIT WHICH IS NOT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. WHEN YOU’RE A LITTLE KID THIS WAS TERRIFYING BECAUSE THAT SHIT WAS DEEP TO AN ADULT, WHEN YOU’RE FOUR FEET TALL FALLING INTO THIS THING IS ESSENTIALLY GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PITS OF HELL BECAUSE THERE IS NO ESCAPE THERE IS NO FLOOR YOU JUST SINK UNTIL YOU FALL OUT THE OTHER END INTO HELL OR THE VOID OR MIDDLE EARTH, NO ONE KNOWS BECAUSE NO ONE SURVIVES. THIS IS WHERE THEY SENT YOU AS ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT IN GYMNASTICS. LITTLE SALLY JUST PUSHED SAMMY OFF A BAR YOU SAY? LITTLE SALLY HAS TO GO SIT IN THE BLOCK PIT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID ON HER WAY DOWN.

Is it cruel that I want to push the people I hate down this Hole/Void/Middle Earth of Hell? Because … This seems like a perfect type of punishment — or something really good to hide in. 

Seriously …

Why build jails when you can send the convicts to the Block Pit?
Policeman: Send this dirtbag to the block pit.
Convict: NO! NOT BLOCK PIT! I CAN’T GO BACK TO THE BLOCK PIT! THERE ARE BLOCKS IN AREAS THAT BLOCKS SHOULDN’T BE IN!

proudlyinsane:

magnificenthoofbeasts:

angryvriska:

cyberacat:

youtastedalektable:

she had a tough time getting out of the block pit

IF YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN I A BLOCK PIT THEN YOU DONT KNWO THE FEAR. IT SUCKS YOU IN DEEPER AS YOU TRY TO MOVE. IT’S LIKE THE MUGGLE’S DEVIL’S SNARE MAN.

YOU HAVE TO USE ALL YOUR STRENGTH TO GET OUT OF THOSE FUCKERS

OKAY

I HAVE BEEN IN ONE AND ITS LIKE SWIMMING IF YOU DON’T STOP MOVING YOU EITHER FLOAT OR SINK THERE IS NO IN BETWEEN

WE HAD THESE WHEN I USED TO BE IN GYMNASTICS AND I HATED THESE FUCKING THINGS THEY SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME

Is it bad that I actually want to go into one of these just to see how it feels?

ALRIGHT LET ME EXPLAIN SOMETHING ABOUT THE BLOCK PITS

THERE IS A ROPE THAT YOU SWING OFF TO DIVE INTO THIS THING BUT FUCK THE ROPE BECAUSE THAT SHIT ONLY DUMPS YOU IN THE MIDDLE OF THE PIT WHICH IS NOT WHERE YOU WANT TO BE. WHEN YOU’RE A LITTLE KID THIS WAS TERRIFYING BECAUSE THAT SHIT WAS DEEP TO AN ADULT, WHEN YOU’RE FOUR FEET TALL FALLING INTO THIS THING IS ESSENTIALLY GETTING SUCKED INTO THE PITS OF HELL BECAUSE THERE IS NO ESCAPE THERE IS NO FLOOR YOU JUST SINK UNTIL YOU FALL OUT THE OTHER END INTO HELL OR THE VOID OR MIDDLE EARTH, NO ONE KNOWS BECAUSE NO ONE SURVIVES. THIS IS WHERE THEY SENT YOU AS ULTIMATE PUNISHMENT IN GYMNASTICS. LITTLE SALLY JUST PUSHED SAMMY OFF A BAR YOU SAY? LITTLE SALLY HAS TO GO SIT IN THE BLOCK PIT AND THINK ABOUT WHAT SHE DID ON HER WAY DOWN.

Is it cruel that I want to push the people I hate down this Hole/Void/Middle Earth of Hell? Because … This seems like a perfect type of punishment — or something really good to hide in.

Seriously …

Why build jails when you can send the convicts to the Block Pit?

Policeman: Send this dirtbag to the block pit.

Convict: NO! NOT BLOCK PIT! I CAN’T GO BACK TO THE BLOCK PIT! THERE ARE BLOCKS IN AREAS THAT BLOCKS SHOULDN’T BE IN!

(via future-in-progress)